My new Sad Story: Life Without You by Sheilla Kiwi

Sad story I had to write:

Didn’t Want A Life Without You But Here I Am Living One…

Driving in her small black car, under the pouring rain and thunder, Ailla drove going nowhere. She was leaving the kind of ceremony no one ever wanted to go to. It’s the kind of place where you sit, all alone, in the middle of a sea of black hats and netted veils. You can’t see past your own tears or through the tears of the weeping clouds. Gusts of wind buffet your clothes from the right and then the left but you don’t notice. Where Ailla was leaving was the place where haunting graves surround your small gathering of mourners as a group of men slowly lower the ornately decorated casket down into the muddy earth.

Just last week her mother was driving Ailla and her siblings around all over the place. No one thinks that their mother might die in just a few seconds so it happens unexpectedly. In the amount of time it takes for everything to come crashing down on you it takes the same amount of seconds for her to be here and gone. Like a dagger thrown into the heart out of the middle of nowhere. Emptiness seems to be all there is. You can’t think strait, you can’t speak, all you can do is sit there, helpless and in pain.

Ailla took another turn down a country road, numbly moving the steering wheel to the left. Tears blurred her vision which she quickly wiped away like the windshield wipers on the front of the car wiped away the few droplets of rain still coming down. Mascara was streaked under her eyes and her cheeks were stiff from crying so long. When had she not cried? After the first impact came time to think and this only brought the tears back over and over again. Did her mother know she loved her? What was the last thing she had said to her? Was it “I love you?” She doubted it. The happy farm-girl from the south had taken her mother for granted and she knew that now. When she had the chance to express her love and to enjoy her mother’s time she knew she had turned away and gone to spend more time outdoors. Parents were there to pay the bills and brothers and sisters…well they didn’t have a point. All they did was annoy you till you gave them a big black eye. Of course, then you would get in trouble and have to sit in your dull room until your attitude changed. Ailla had always wondered why parents did this because it obviously didn’t work. Nothing had ever changed in her heart and now her mother, recently discovered to be important, was beyond a phone call, beyond a short drive down the country roads, and beyond the reach of her hands.

The young cute little girl was left behind like old clothes you over time grow out of and throw away. Now she was a woman trying to fight her way into the world and without the one thing every girl need.

At the next left Ailla pulled her car to the side of the road. She stepped out and closed the door. Though she was in her black wool coat she still felt cold. It wasn’t a problem that came from something external but originated in the core of her heart. Looking out over the valley she could see the cemetery where her mother lay peacefuly and quiet unaware that her daughter was longing for her to awake and continue life like they had. No, not how they had, how they should have; having the kind of relationship that was dreamed of.

Storm clouds floated across the sky; lightning flashing in the distance with an echo of thunder after, booming through the air. The valley was peaceful, most people indoors enjoying a family game of Monopoly by the fire.

Autumn leaves blew across her feet. Trees rustled in the cool breeze. People in their comfortable rustic houses didn’t realize the importance of their time together; living their lives ignorant of the falling leaves outside, of the bitterness and pain. When the thunder rolls in they will be unprepared, hiding under only a piece of cardboard. That was how she had gone through her life so far. Only seeing what she wanted to see and look where that had gotten her. Here she was standing alone, exposed, and confused. Can one live with only a piece of their heart left? She didn’t know if she could but you can’t know till you try. Time was moving on and she wouldn’t be left behind. One good thing had come out of her childhood and that was determination. God knew she needed this more than anything if she was going to get out of this mess with something left.

Ailla pulled the red flower out of her hair and place it on the gravel at her feet. Standing back up Ailla blew one last kiss into the air towards the heavens, “Love you mom.” Her past memories would remain with her for all her life but she still had time to make more. Relief came over her with the knowledge that her mother was in a better place now; away from the turmoil of the world. Ailla got back into her car and pulled back onto the road.

Everyone will continue to drive on, slowing down and speeding up. But a question still remains. What did we do with the time we had?

Hope you enjoyed my story! Let me know what your thoughts are on it. :)

God Bless,

Sheilla Kiwi

My Poem: My Garden

My Garden

Night is fading away

The stars saying, “Goodbye.”

The moon welcoming day

God calling, “Arise!”

Birds hop from their nests

Rabbits bouncing from their beds

Worms squirming in the ground

Bugs wandering all about

Dressing up the turquoise sky

Dance the colors of sunrise

Swaying in the morning breeze

Spider webs strung with clear beads

Crystals reflecting on the leaves

Fruit glistening on the trees

Delicate petals stretching open

This is morning in my garden

Workers come to gather their bounty

To take back home for their honey

Butterflies flutter from plant to plant

Creating together a graceful dance

All the colors of the rainbow

Blue, orange, red, and yellow

Reflecting the suns invisible rays

Coming together in a beautiful display

Ladybugs crawl, sunflower to sunflower

Grape vines grow into strung up tower

Berry bushes house large brown spiders

And serve tart food to hungry outsiders

Daytime passes in my magical land

Ending my dreams of a place so grand

Ah, what a way for light to go

Fading away ever so slow

Life waved goodnight

Rocking in the wind

God said, “Sleep tight!”

As I turned in

Life's Circle, The Origin of Heath

Life’s Circle

The Origin of Heath

One dark and sinister night the moon was full all the beasts howled sending chills down the backs of all who were good. The forest became alive from the pale worms in the earth to the swaying arms of the trees above.

Many deaths would occur tonight in the shadow of the bush but one life was meant to live under the glow of the moon and floating clouds.

Inside this small, rickety and non-rain proof, hut there was chaos. The bedroom was humid and hot from the long day in the sun and the many frantic women, dressed in clothes they had worn for the past ten years, squirming around. Of course, the blazing fire did not much help either but it did help all the women to calm the screaming mother who was now due to have her baby.

“We have to hurry; she’s been pushing too long. If we wait much longer the child will die,” said a frazzled old woman, who some may call a witch and others may call the medicine woman, either way she was the person to call upon when you were ill, giving birth, or were practicing spells and witchcraft. A younger lady, though no less experienced looking, wiped her stringy sweat drenched hair out of her eye sight. She was the dark skinned and heavy one. These two may have looked like complete opposites but they were similar in one area and that was that they could get their work done well.

She shook her head gravely and replied, “I do not know what else to do. You and I have both seen many births in our days but I have never experienced one so difficult,” she paused and leaned in towards the older woman whispering, “We must be prepared for the worst and most likely thing to happen, death. She used much of her strength last night staying up, who knows how much longer she can hold out before permanent sleep overwhelms her fragile body?”

The wrinkly old woman nodded towards a small wooden cup filled with herbs sitting on a rickety, simply made, wooden table. “Please hold the cup while I pour, Lantha,” the witch paused to poor the steaming hot water but soon Lantha relieved her pale and lanky hands from the weight of the heavy metal pot. As Lantha poured the rest of the water into the half-filled cup and then a few other cups for her and the others to enjoy, the elderly woman sat down in a chair next to the bed where the struggling mother lay currently trying to relax and sip the medicine that the Witch was now giving to her. Suddenly she started to scream again and writhe in pain. Her face turned red in seconds.

This had happened a couple times before so no one panicked but quickly and efficiently did what was needed to be done. After such a long night no one expected the baby to come out now, but it did. Right before their eyes out came the tiniest baby any of them had seen.

As fast as the new mother’s face went from calm to panic it changed again, this time from panic to joy; absolute joy and relief. Smiles grew across the room as the women realized the struggle was over and had ended well.

Everyone took deep breaths and relaxed the tension out of their worn bodies. Lantha disappeared into adjacent room and returned with the father who had been waiting very impatiently for what had just now come.

Dougal came in into the room looking happier than ever; a big grin stretched across his face.

“What are we going to call her, Kira?” said Dougal as he walked to the side of the bed. “I like the name Heath,” Kira thought for a moment, “Yes, Heath meaning wasteland for our daughter was born into a wasteland,” Kira, the happy mother, looked up to her husband’s strong face admiringly and he looked back nodding. “Heath she will called,” Dougal agreed, “We will now proceed with our blessing. Lantha, you and the women must leave now. Take your things with you.Witch, you will stay and set the stones.” Lantha bowed her head, “Of course. I will return tomorrow in the morning to check the mother and her child.”

Once Lantha and the few other women had gone with all of their possessions the Witch began to lay black round shaped stones in a circular form on the floor with a small thud from the wood in response. Kira rose from her bed and tied back her brown tangled hair out of her face. Helping Kira with one large rough hand and holding the baby with the other, Dougal walked the short distance to the circle.

There Dougal laid the child, all wrapped in rags, in the center of the rocks and sat down with his wife across from him. “That is all, Witch. We will see you tomorrow also?” The Witch nodded, “Yes, of course. The child’s health must be checked often. I will come by in the morning with Lantha.” She said goodbye and walked out of the room closing the door behind.

A quiet hum went through the dimly lit room the second the Witch was gone. This mysterious sound came from the mouths of Kira and Dougal. Their eyes were closed and their legs crisscrossed in front of them; hands resting on their knees. Little Heath, new to the world, lay quiet as if knowing something important was about to happen.

Then, everywhere but coming from nowhere, voices started to whisper in the dimly lit room. You could not understand what they were saying but you heard them in the air, you felt the tickle in your ear and the chills down you back. Something else was in the room with them.

Dougal started talking as if in reply but you also could not hear him unless you put your ear to his lips. But as he got louder you would realize that he was saying a rather strange chant; strange and frightening.

Gars no pasaules zemāk
Spirit from the world bellow

Nāc un aizpildiet mūsu meitas dvēsele

Come and fill our daughter’s soul

Satumst, ņemot vērā One Evil

Darken the light of the Evil One

Nāc, nāc, nāc!

Come, come, come!

Dēmons no uguns dziļumā

Demon from the depths of fire

Nāc un darīt mūsu sirdis vēlas.

Come and do our hearts desires.

Slēpt savas acis no citiem veidiem

Hide her eyes from others ways

Redzot tikai ar sātana žēlastību

Seeing only by Satan’s grace

Valdnieks dēmonu nosūtīt tālāk jūsu kalps.

Ruler of demons, send forth your servant.

Rādīt patiesību mūsu bērns, ak gudrs Serpent.

Show truth to our child, oh wise Serpent.

Nosūtīt tālāk dēmons, sūtīt viņu tālāk.

Send forth the demon, send him forth.

Dot savu otro dzimšanas.

Give to her a second birth.

As he went on the voices in the room got louder and louder. Screeching sounds like a birds call of distress. Then, silence; everything and everyone were still for what seemed like forever. Dougal and Kira then opened their dark and tired eyes, looking at each other. “The sacrifice we choose to make.” a tear slipped down Kira’s flushed cheek, “Goodbye.”

Fire filled the room in a flash burning everything. Darkness was all that was in the small room now, except for the small bit of color coming from the baby girl. Her skin was somehow changed making it hard to see her with no source of light but the small puzzling light that was, but wasn’t. Green were her eyes, glowing like a thirsty animal’s in the shadows.

Alone she lay on nothing, in a room filled with nothing; there was emptiness. Alone was her love; for there was no one for her to love and no one to love her. And alone she would be in her life to come.

Now was the beginning of her circle, unknown was the end.

THIS IS MINE, DO NOT TAKE! haha No, seriously, I'm not kidding. Don't steel. B-|

Hope you enjoyed!

God Bless,

Sheilla Kiwi

Side Note From The Author: The language I used for the chant thingy is called Latvian. I just went ahead and used an already existing language since I am short on time.
If I ever put this into a book or something I would for sure write my own language or just do it in English. But for the class I am taking I wanted something more so
I just used a language I thought most people might now know. lol Just so ya know... :)

Chapter 2 by Sheilla Kiwi

ATTENTION -I know I probably don't HAVE to say this, but I will anyways. Please know that this is MY work. DO NOT copy or use without my permission. Thanks! -SK

Chapter 2

Leahcar was looking at a child kneeling on the leaf covered ground. Who is she? Where am I?

Leahcar scanned her surroundings. They were encircled by a dense forest but Leahcar and the girl were in a small grass area filled with white wild flowers swaying in the breeze. The night sky was mostly clear with only small patches of thin clouds and the full moon was just above them.

Leahcar thought it looked magical and yet frightening. It felt haunting but also pleasing. How strange, she thought.

Whatever this place was she did not think she had heard of it before in any of her lessons as a little girl.

If she had not heard of it then it must be an unknown place that no one had ever seen or heard of in Nevaeh…yet there was this girl here, wasn’t there, so then where was she from? Were they the only ones who knew of this place?

Leahcar turned her attention back to the small girl on the ground. She had long hair that poured down over her shoulders and to the muddy wet ground. Her hair was most likely normally a dark brown but it was soaking wet making it black, as black as the midnight sky. Her clothes, from what Leahcar could see, were ragged and torn; she must have a poor family. From her point of view Leahcar could see the child’s tanned arms cupping her face. She was crying, for what reason Leahcar did not know.

Just then the little girl stopped her crying and sat up, then slowly she stood up off the ground and turned to face Leahcar. Her damp green eyes pierced Leahcar like an arrow. For what felt like minutes but was only seconds Leahcar and the girl stood face to face in the pasture- staring at each other.

Then she spoke, her voice was soft and very quiet so Leahcar had to put all her efforts into listening.

“Save me.” The first time Leahcar barely heard her but the second time the child screamed at the top of her lungs with tears springing from her eyes, “Save me!”

Sweat beaded down Leahcar’s face and her blankets were scrunched up bellow her feet. She turned her head from side to side realizing that she was back in her bedroom still clothed in her nightgown and lying on her bed.

Her cheeks felt stiff from the dried tears and her head throbbed from her stressful sleep.

She must have dreamt about the girl in the pasture and the magical wood, it was magical wasn’t it? It felt magical so for now she would call it magical. But real life at the moment was the farthest thing from magical.

All of last night’s events came back to her like a gust of wind in an ice storm. That was the perfect description because that’s what Leahcar felt like: cold. All the warmth had left her body like a dead person’s, but she wasn’t dead, her mother was. Tears came to her eyes and slithered down her cheek, off her chin, and onto her pillow creating wet a dark spot on the red fabric.

Leahcar heard the door creek behind her but she did not budge because to this seemingly meaningless world, she was numb. Was it really meaningless? She still had her father and Gabriel, her dearest friend, and they both loved her so of course the world still had meaning, but at this very moment, that meaning had fallen to be a tiny speck of dirt on the ground. It had drifted away to be only an ant on the horizon, it was unreachable, or so it seemed.

Quiet footsteps came closer and closer to her bed until they stopped right at what sounded to be the opposite side of the bed that Leahcar lay upon. Then she heard that voice she heard every single morning starting five years ago when her other personal maid had died, “Good morning miss. General Gabriel is in the dining hall and he wishes to eat with you if you will come. Would you like me to help you get dressed?” Leahcar rolled over to her other side so she could see Mary who had an anxious look on her face. Mary was younger than Leahcar but she looked much older than her fifteen years. Her family was poor so Mary was looking desperately for a job to help feed their empty stomachs. Leahcar found her asking for a job in town from a jeweler who was in the middle of rejected her plea. She seemed very pleasant and sweet so Leahcar quickly snagged the girl and asked her to serve as her maid. Mary did not hesitate. She was no different now, still poor but also still very sweet and gentle. Leahcar loved having her as friend. Now she was standing before Leahcar waiting for a reply from her mistress, and now Leahcar wanted to be left alone.

“I am not hungry Mary; please tell Gabriel I will see him some other time.” Mary bowed and turned around to leave but then stopped and turned slowly back around, “Please, m’lady, Gabriel said to force you out of bed if you refused. You know I will not, but I do not believe you would want him coming himself, as he said he would.”

Her voice was hesitant and quiet. Obviously she was afraid of upsetting Leahcar more.

Leahcar sighed, maybe getting up would help her, though it would most definitely not take certain things off her mind. “Alright Mary, please pick out a dress for me and then tell Gabriel I will be down shortly.”

Mary nodded and quickly set off doing as Leahcar had asked. She placed a dress on a chair next to Leahcar’s bed then left the room without another word.

Once Mary was gone Leahcar got up and quickly undressed and put on the dress that Mary had picked. She always picked out the dresses that looked best on Leahcar. This one was a long blue dress with long sleeves dangling down to the floor and lined with gold silk. She put her hair partially up and tied it in a gold ribbon that she had received with many others for her sixteenth birthday. After some finishing touches and making sure she was presentable, as presentable as she could be anyways, Leahcar walked out of her room and down the hall to the right the same way that Mary had gone not too long ago. All the walls were decorated with tapestries and paintings. Some very old, others recently painted, a request made by her mother who was easily bored of the same things over and over again.

Leahcar stopped to look closer at one of her favorites. It was a picture of a small girl dancing in a field of daisies and little purple flowers. She had a short white dress that flared out as she was turning with her arms stretched out and hands open as if she were trying to catch invisible rain.

The sun was shining, the plants were flourishing, and the water flowing; drifting over rock and earth. It seemed to be as close to heaven as this world could get to Leahcar.

If only she could get there and away from here, maybe her troubles would be gone. Would there be tears? Would there be pain? Was there sorrow? How could there be in such a place so beautiful and quiet looking?

Her world was broken but this girl looked as if she had no fears; she had no doubt that her world would never fall apart.

Was that how I looked before…? Will I ever have peace again?

Leahcar’s wishful thinking was disturbed by a guard passing through the hall with his heavy footsteps and clunky armor. He nodded his head and murmured something under his breath.

Leahcar nodded in return out of habit but she was not really paying attention. He could have walked by without any acknowledgment at all and Leahcar would not have noticed or cared.

I hope you enjoyed chapter 2 of my book. Some things are still in progress even in this area but I will now be adding on to chap.2 or starting chap.3.

Please let me know what you think of it so far! Your input is important to me. :)

God Bless,

Sheilla kiwi

The Lustful Heart

Over the last couple years it has been brought to my attention that many men and women believe that men were made to lust by God and therefore can’t help but lust. This idea was first mentioned to me by my mother (who believes the same as me), by many young people online, and often it is also talked about in books.

After many discussions and arguments full of frustration and sadness I wondered why no one had ever written anything from the point of view that men have a choice to lust or not. So here I am setting about to create this paper based off of my views.

Chapter 1-Modesty

Many thought that because I believe that, technically, women can dress in whatever they like and it would still be a man’s fault if he lusted, that I didn’t think that modesty was important. But if you look in scripture it clearly says to dress modestly:

1 Timothy 2:9 (New International Version)
9 I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes,

1 Peter 3:3-4 (New International Version)
3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

Obviously we have to consider times and culture with these verses talking about jewelry, braided hair, and also fine clothes. Back in that time when a woman wore those things it often meant that she was a prostitute. Now it doesn’t mean the same thing but we are still called to “dress modestly, with decency and propriety’.

My point is that I do not think we should dress modestly because “if we don’t we cause men to stumble” but because God calls us to. Saving our hearts for our husband and keeping our bodies a private and special temple only for God and our husbands is important to God, and should also be to us girls.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (New International Version)

19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

Romans 6:13 (New International Version)

13 Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness.

Obviously God thinks it is important for women to dress modestly, and so do I! But our reasons are what matter, like with anything else. What is in your heart is what is really going to count when you stand before God.

Chapter 2-Man’s Choice?

Where the problem really lies in my debate is whether men have a choice or not to lust after a woman. My opinion is that they do have a choice. Reading scriptures seems to prove that idea for me.

Matthew 5:27-30 (New International Version)
27”You have heard that it was said, ’Do not commit adultery.’[e] 28But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

Exodus 20:14 (New International Version)

14 “You shall not commit adultery.

Why would God make men to lust, which He says is committing adultery, and then say not to lust? This would mean that God had contradicted Himself, and if you are a Christian I am sure you believe, as I do, that God does not contradict Himself. So either the Bible is wrong or those who believe that all men can do is lust are wrong. Would you really believe that you were right and the Bible was wrong?

After some discussion with my mother I have found that the most likely reasons for men and women believing this “men can’t help but lust” idea is because it has been so engrained in our culture. Men often do lust, and the chances of a man lusting some time in his life are rather large. But is that because God made them like that or because they choose to be like that? I believe it is a choice.

The men use it as an excuse to get ‘off the hook’ with sinning and the women often just let it go and pity the men. It’s easy to do, it’s easy to sin, it’s easy to give excuses, but though it’s hard, I find it would be better to go before God with our sins and ask for forgiveness rather than just keep ‘letting it off’.

Ephesians 1:7-8 (New International Version)

7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace 8 that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.

Chapter 3- Food and Lust: Same Meaning?

The following verse has often brought up in argument to me:

1 Corinthians 8:13 (New International Version)

Therefore, if food causes my brother to stumble, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause my brother to stumble.

If you change the words around a bit, this is their point:

Therefore, if the way I dress causes my brother to stumble, I will never dress immodestly again, so that I will not cause my brother to stumble.

This is a good point but when you read this you also have to consider the reasons for this being said.
Read the following verses carefully.

(New International Version)

Food Sacrificed to Idols

¹Now about food sacrificed to idols: We know that we all possess knowledge.^[a] Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. ²The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know. ³But the man who loves God is known by God.

⁴So then, about eating food sacrificed to idols: We know that an idol is nothing at all in the world and that there is no God but one. ⁵For even if there are so-called gods, whether in heaven or on earth (as indeed there are many “gods” and many “lords”), ⁶yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live.

⁷But not everyone knows this. Some people are still so accustomed to idols that when they eat such food they think of it as having been sacrificed to an idol, and since their conscience is weak, it is defiled. ⁸But food does not bring us near to God; we are no worse if we do not eat, and no better if we do.

⁹Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak. ¹⁰For if anyone with a weak conscience sees you who have this knowledge eating in an idol’s temple, won’t he be emboldened to eat what has been sacrificed to idols? ¹¹So this weak brother, for whom Christ died, is destroyed by your knowledge. ¹²When you sin against your brothers in this way and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ. ¹³Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause him to fall.

It is said here that they should not create a stumbling block for someone who does not understand the laws about food and would see it as something wrong instead of something that God has permitted. Also, they say that it is not wrong for them to avoid eating those things so they could avoid confusing the others who, like I said, would be stumbled by seeing this.

Men can avoid being stumbled, they have a choice. Even if a woman was completely naked offering herself to a man he could turn away and not lust for her. A Christian man does not have any less knowledge or any weaker of a conscience than a Christian woman, so why would God not create women to lust? Because God said not to lust, lusting is a sin, for both men and women and can be prevented.

Think of it more as this:

Food isn’t what tempts us; food isn’t a bad thing just like clothes aren’t a bad thing! But our sinful desires are what tempt us to lust. So we can choose to deny those sinful desires and choose our desire to do what God has called us to do. What other people do isn’t what tempts us; it’s our own desires for that temptation. (Keep reading for more about our desires in Chapter 6.)

Job 31 (New International Version)

¹ “I made a covenant with my eyes
not to look lustfully at a girl. ² For what is man’s lot from God above,
his heritage from the Almighty on high? ³ Is it not ruin for the wicked,
disaster for those who do wrong? ⁴ Does he not see my ways
and count my every step? ⁵ “If I have walked in falsehood
or my foot has hurried after deceit- ⁶ let God weigh me in honest scales
and he will know that I am blameless- ⁷ if my steps have turned from the path,
if my heart has been led by my eyes,
or if my hands have been defiled, ⁸ then may others eat what I have sown,
and may my crops be uprooted.

Chapter 5- Judgment and the Guilt

“Should we judge? Are we guilty?”

These are a couple questions that I find are often answered with-

“Girls shouldn’t dress immodestly because it causes men to lust.”

and

“It’s our fault that men lust because we dress immodestly.”

I do not think we should judge anyone before we know their heart, which we can’t truly know for sure anyone’s heart. Only God can see what really goes on inside.

1 Samuel 16:7 (Today’s New International Version)

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things human beings look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

So who are we to judge a girl who wears something like a bikini (just an example)? We assume that, generally, girls wear bikinis to attract the attention of men, but I do not believe that is the heart of every girl.

I know most people have found that things like bikinis are immodest. Generally I would agree. I know they show a lot and I think it would be better to keep yourself covered. But if you have no other choice but to wear a bikini and have a good heart about it (not wanting men’s attention) then I don’t see why it is so bad.

Now here is where most say, “but it makes men lust!” and that is where I say, “I believe men have a choice.”

It’s all a circle going round and round, fitting together.

Often you may be blamed for men’s hearts, for all the times men lust after you, but are you guilty?

Some would say “yes”, but I would disagree. If men are responsible for their hearts then would it not be their fault if they sinned?

If you stole a cookie from the cookie jar would it be your fault for steeling or your mother’s for putting the cookies out?

Men should take responsibility for their faults and women should do the same, not one for the other. Don’t play the blame game, and don’t feel guilty for something that you can’t control. We can only control our own hearts and minds and take responsibility for the wrong things we do.

Chapter 6- Satisfaction: Being Focused and Filled?

Matthew 6:33(New International Version)

³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness…

For this section the question we start with is this: What do you focus on and fill yourself up with?

So what do we focus on and fill our lives with? The Bible says to be set apart from this world, but many of us get so consumed with the world and sin around us that we get pulled in. Drugs, sex, pornography, alcohol and many other things are constantly tempting us, being offered to us, and trying to drag us down. Temptations are in everything we do, but we can choose what we do with those temptations/offers. Do we grab hold or push away, hesitantly or willingly?

This choice is placed before every man and woman, girl and boy, some time in their life and sadly, many of us choose to grab hold. What many of us are realizing is that often, in today’s culture, men choose to grab hold of the chance to lust after a woman. But because many do it, we have just accepted the idea and thought it to be all that men can do. As I said though, they have a choice, just like we have a choice not to steel the cookie from the cookie jar.

If we were the people God has called us to be, spending every moment of our lives striving to please God and giving Him the glory he deserves…and be more like Him, then what would lust be? If you are with God, all things are possible! …Even choosing to not lust.

1 Chronicles 16:25 (New International Version)

25 For great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; he is to be feared above all gods.

Here are some more questions to consider:

Are you satisfied with ALL that God has provided for you? Do you even realize what all those provisions are?

When we lust it isn’t because of the person we are lusting after but because of our own evil, sinful, desires. When Eve ate the fruit it wasn’t because of the serpent or the fruit it was because of her own wants, Adam ate for the same reasons. Is what God provides not enough for us?

God created us to want him, to love Him, to desire Him, and to be in a relationship with Him every day and every second. But because man chose in the beginning to go after those desires we now have many, every day…every second, sinful desires just like Adam and Eve desired the fruit in the garden. It’s not a problem with others; it’s a problem inside your own heart. God gives us one spouse to spend our whole lives with, to share our love, history, and future with. When you lust, do you think that tells God you are grateful for the spouse that has come or is yet to come, or do you think that tells God that the person God has blessed you with isn’t good enough? Sadly, I believe the answer is part two: isn’t good enough. We are created in God’s own image, wonderfully and beautifully made. Lusting after someone doesn’t tell them you love them. It doesn’t say, “I think you are beautiful”. It says, “You aren’t good enough. You aren’t pretty enough. You aren’t ‘fake’ enough” That’s a lie. Every one of us is worth so much more than what we are being told in today’s culture, men and women. Lusting is just one of the ways that we degrade people.

(See James 1:2-18)

Psalm 139:14 (New International Version)

¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Romans 12:2 (New International Version)

2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, in order to prove by you what is that good and pleasing and perfect will of God.

Colossians 3:1-3 (New International Version)

¹Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. ² Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. ³For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.

Chapter 8- The End?

So when does it end? It won’t end, sadly. The fact is, people choose every day to lust, Christians and non-Christians. The fact that people will lust won’t change until Jesus comes back for us. Just like there will always be sin. It’s especially a struggle with non-Christians because they don’t believe the same as we do and therefore don’t hold the same standards, nor do they know of the love of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit in them.

But you can make changes in your own heart. You can choose to be more like Jesus and to live your life for Him and Him alone. …To NOT lust after God’s creation.

You can’t force someone else not to lust. Just like I can’t force you to believe the same things about lust as I do. You can choose to shine God’s light through your life, and they can choose what they do with that example, like you can with my example and my words. So choose not to lust, and who knows…you may change someone’s life by that example.

God has given us so much. He has blessed you and I time and time…and time…and time…again. Degrading his creation and sinning in our hearts is not God honoring.

So let’s stop degrading men by saying that all they can do is sin and degrading women by seeing them as objects for men’s “pleasure”. Because God created us for so much more!

It’s a choice. So let’s choose not to lust.

Proverbs 6: 25-28 (New International Version)

²⁵ Do not lust in your heart after her beauty
or let her captivate you with her eyes,

²⁶ for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread,
and the adulteress preys upon your very life.

²⁷ Can a man scoop fire into his lap
without his clothes being burned?

²⁸ Can a man walk on hot coals
without his feet being scorched?

Please feel free to comment with your thoughts, I’m always open!

I will be replying as soon as I can.

Thanks!

God Bless,

Sheilla Kiwi